We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
