3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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