we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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