How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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