Little spoons don't ask big questions
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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