Well douche your snatch and let's go!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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