Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
