My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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