Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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