Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
