i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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