summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
