We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
