apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
