How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
