but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
