did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
