You're completely useless in the revolution.
I need help removing her.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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