gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You can't motorboat a personality
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
