the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just had sex on a roof
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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