"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You have to summon your inner elephant
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
