I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
