my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
