Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
