I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
