yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
