I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
