Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
