theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
