she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck your aforementioned shoe
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
