I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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