I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
