I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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