You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
