Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
