I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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