Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shame - the story of my life.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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