So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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