Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
