I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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