There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why do cheetos always look like penises
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
