we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got inside last night via doggy door
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
