just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So much Jack, so little girl.
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Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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