Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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