I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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