dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
