well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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