So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
