I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Panties = found
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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