You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
