All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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