I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
