I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
