Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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