YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
