Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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