Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
