how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize