It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
