whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my being single is dangerous.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
