Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
