so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
