that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
