I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is it penis luge time yet?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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