I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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