Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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