is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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